I'll Follow You Into The Dark
by Theonewhostandsout
Summary: Bella is a freak. She has the scars to prove it. She'll have them forever, and as far as she's concerned, no one can save her from this hell. But that doesn't mean that someone won't try. Co-authored by Asblueasthemoon
1. It's A Small World

**This story is being co-authored by Asblueasthemoon. It, obviously, is also authored by me. **

**Disclaimer: I only own my apple juice. Oh! And this idea. So stick that straw in YOUR apple juice and suck away. **

**Preface: **

A wise man once said in light there is darkness and in darkness there is light. When I was younger I never really understood the saying. As I grew older I began to think that the 'light' represented heroes. I mean, I know every good hero goes through a phase where the darkness just seems generally more appealing and that maybe they should just give in because the game has changed, or the girl is gone, or everything they believed in and everything they fought for was ruined. In the end the hero finds them self again and discover something worth fighting for. Of course, heroes don't actually exist...

If they did I wouldn't have gone through all this shit. I wouldn't have a constant reminder of the evil in this world etched into my face. But I do. Because heroes don't exist. There is no one to save you. No one to trust. The only one you can rely on is yourself. It's better to learn that early on in life, rather than suffer the consequences like I did...

See, this idea has been brewing in my head for years now. So, you can imagine my surprise when _he _comes in the picture. Looking at me with adoration, Christ, even _**love **_in his eyes. God, how this changes everything. That is years worth of knowledge and ideas that are now all shit. All because he came in and rescued me. Sort of like my_ hero. _

**Chapter Uno:**

My mom was sending me away. Like a brown cardboard box crappily taped up with an address scribbled on it in such a way that you know they really don't give a fuck where it ends up. I would be less peeved if the circumstances were different. My mom **is **getting remarried, so it's understandable that she'd want to spend some 'quality time' with Phil. But of course my future step sisters got to stay... She actually _loved_ them. Not me though, she never loved me. But I didn't cry over it, at least she didn't call me names or abuse me physically or, rather, mentally like all the others did. I was a freak, a reject, I suppose, when your thinking in the same mind frame as the hicks around me. But that's not _really _what got me. In all the stories the outcast always had at least one friend to confide in, but not me, I didn't even get that much.

According to my Mom the reason she was sending me away was for 'my own safety', but I knew just as well as she did that she was embarrassed of me. There was just something about me that led the interminable people in this town to despise me. Whether it was the confident way I carried myself even when being ridiculed, the way I dressed, or the way I took every awful thing they said and just pretended that I just didn't give a damn about their opinions. And I certainly did not.

Or maybe it was the way I read almost constantly that made them label me that way. I'm pretty sure the local bookstore's owner had sent his daughter to college off of all the money I spent on books at his store. I mean, honestly, when the entire world seems to hate you, you've got to have something right? Well, for me, 'that thing' just happened to be reading. It took away the hopelessness and insanity that threatened to overrun and infect the tendrils of my delicate mind and helped me imagine how amazing life could be... If I had a different one.

"Bella, come on. You need to stop reading and start packing! You're going to love your new home! I hear Washington is super pretty this time of the year!" my mother gushed. And it clearly took a notable amount of effort for her to do so, because I wasn't the kind of person you gush to.

In the end I packed, not happily, but I did it all the same. I mean its not like I had any friends here, or even just happy memories. The only thing that I'll miss is probably the comfy window seat that gave me a perfect view of the lake. I mean, seriously, who could miss a place where you were constantly tormented? I guess I just like familiar things. Didn't like change. But, maybe, this will be a good thing...

_Or maybe it wouldn't..._

"Goodbye sweetheart! I'll miss you!" I resisted the urge to snort at her pleasantries and just gave a small wave from my place in line for security. _She'll miss me my ass._

After getting through the line successfully; successfully meaning my privacy wasn't violated by some dude with a pedophile mustache and beefy hands. After throwing my bag over my shoulder I yawned loudly and I promptly decided that I should splash some water on my face. I walked down a couple crowded halls before finding the little girls room and ducked in quickly.

I went inside and as I stared into the mirror I realized I really should have convinced my mother that the 5 AM flight she booked really wasn't the brightest idea. I sighed, it was going to be a really long fucking day. Just as I was about to turn on the tap water someone emerged from one of the stalls. It was a guy, our eyes met and his widened considerably, but all the same he calmly walked to the sink and washed his hands.

"So, do you come here often?" He inquired as he put some foamy soap on his hands.

"Do you?"

"Erm... Yeah, this is kinda the men's room."

"Oh, really? Then, do tell, where are the urinals?" I questioned him with a smirk.

He whipped around and looked at the bathroom, "Well shit, you should probably be screaming right now".

"I guess I can understand... It's an honest mistake... sort of," I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

He snorted, "It would be, if this was the first time this happened."

"I met my girlfriend when I accidentally went into the girls room at a car dealership..."

"Ha! How did that work out?"

"Well, her dad owns the place, and heard her scream..."

"And, lemme guess, she asked you out?"

"Yeah, actually," he said sheepishly, "In fact her Dad promptly asked me to come over for dinner. He found a sixteen year old boy accidentally in the ladies room comical... Well that and Rosie was beating me with her handbag at that point."

I burst out laughing, "Whoa, there's a story tell your kids..."

At this exact moment a tiny old woman walked into the bathroom.

"PERVERT!" She shreiked before running out.

"In your defense she may have been talking to me." I giggled.

"We should probably get you out of here before security comes..." I led off before he nodded.

"You know I never did catch your name my mysterious bathroom buddy, at this point I've been refering to you as pervert." I told the guy as I snuck him out of the bathroom and down the hall.

He smiled showing cute dimples in his cheeks, "I'm Emmett and I've been calling you my latest victim."

"As accurate as that nickname may be my name is Bella." I told him snorting.

"HEY PERVERT!" The old lady screamed, appearing behind us once more.

"Oh shit," We both said at once before we took off running.

After hauling ass for a minute we ducked inside a crowded Starbucks.

"Damn that old hag is fast!" Emmett hissed as we saw her essentially do high knees past the starbucks.

"PERVERT!" She howled in the direction she wrongly assumed we had headed in.

"Holy fuck," I panted before getting in line to get a nice black coffee.

"Well, I was going to go here anyways soooo... Thank you old bitch!" He said happily from in line behind me.

"Respect your elders, Emmett," I scolded him and he shoved me and I fell onto the dude in front of me.

"Watch the fuck where you're going!" He growled at me like a fucking dog.

"Well Fuck you too buddy!" I replied as he scowled at me.

"Respect your elders, Bella." Emmett chortled.

"Fuck off Emmett."

"Oh, don't worry I did that in the ladies room." He grinned at me.

"You're repulsive!" I told him.

"Excuse me ma'm what are you ordering?" The man at the counter asked me giggling slightly like the fag I was betting he was.

I rattled off my order to him and sighed, this man needed to learn how to dress, I mean a V-neck, really? I practically threw my money at him then tured around and glared at Emmett.

"Dick," I muttered, and walked to the waiting counter.

Emmett sat down his apple juice at the counter and asked for the largest chocolate chip cookie they had.

"Ohh, a big boy wants a big cookie," the counter 'boy' said, attempting to sound alluring. See? What did I tell you? Gay.

"Um, yeah. And an apple juice," he grinned. Oh, that poor naive buffoon.

"Here you are, big boy. It's on the house," he said, fingering his purple scarf.

"Really? Thanks!"

"Yeah. We should meet up at Two Of A Kind sometime, I think we'd have a lot of fun," he said suggestively. At this point I was struggling to keep composure.

"Um, yeah, sure maybe," Emmett said, with that same oblivious smile on his face, poor kid.

"Here's my number big boy," He said handing over a rainbow piece of scribbled on paper to Emmett who nodded before grabbing his treats and happily walked over to me.

"Make a new friend, Emmett?" I asked, struggling to hold in my laughter.

"Yeah! I think he was pretty nice!" he said.

"Um, pretty GAY!" I laughed finally.

"What, no! He invited me to some bar... Two Of A Kind, I think it was," he said, still unbelieving.

"Em, that's a gay bar. My _gay _cousin worked shifts there to get through community college," I told him.

"Maybe he didn't know it's a gay bar! In fact, I should tell him before he goes there! Oh that poor dude!"

"Yeah, you go ahead and do that. But before, please explain to me why in the hell you would get apple juice at the best coffee shop in the world?"

"I want strong bones!" He shouted.

"Yeah, I think counter boy wants your strong bone too," I giggled.

"Bitch," he mumbled, glancing down at his phone.

"Oh shit, my planes about to start boarding. I gotta get going. Wanna trade numbers?"

"Yeah, I definitely want to do this again sometime," I said, taking his phone to enter my number in.

I glanced down at the time before handing him back his phone.

"Fuck, my plane leaves soon too!" I muttered as I handed him back his phone.

"Well, I suppose I shall text you later then, latest victim!" Emmett declared as we decided to part ways.

"Bye, pervert," I said. And as we began to walk I realized our gates must have been in the same direction.

When I got back to my gate I looked behind me and noticed Emmett still standing there.

"Okay, you know, maybe you have some deep rooted seperation issues, but it's alright, we'll talk. In the meantime, stop being an idiot and go catch your plane," I said.

"This _is _my plane, Bella," he said.

"Oh. Oh my GOD! Your going to Washington too?" I asked, grinning at the revalation of actually having a friend.

"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after-" I smacked him to end the horrible sound of his singing voice.

"Whenever you sing, another baby is born deaf," I told him. He looked heartbroken.

"Yeah, sad, isn't it? So don't sing!" I said, only half joking.

"I resent that." Emmett told me bitterly glaring me down.

"I'm sure you do." I told him as they announced my group letter was boarding.

And as Emmett started towards the entrance as well I just laughed.

"Smaller world than I thought," Emmett smiled, looking at me knowingly.

I handed the attendant lady my ticket and she flashed me a fake smile before wishing me a safe flight.

Emmett and I walked onto the plane and were directed to the same section and I walked down towards the back and sat down in my assigned seat. And could anyone guess who plopped down beside me.

"Okay, this world is getting a bit to small for my personal comfort," I told him.

"I thought you would say that," He told me grinning widely as we prepared for takeoff.

**Like it? Abbey and I- the ever amazing Em -enjoyed writing it. So review. 3**


	2. Too Small For Comfort

**Abbey spells cinnamon, cinnomon so you can imagine that I, obviously, have been screaming that Apple Jacks commercial thing for several hours now... ~Em**

**Hey guys, obviously there's been a change of person here. I just wanted to tell you where the story name came from. It's actually from the song 'I'll Follow You Into The Dark' by Death Cab For Cutie. It really is a FANTASTIC song, so you should definitely go look it up. Enjoy the chapter and the amazing song ~Ab**

**~Bella~  
><strong>

Emmett was a pretty big guy. I'd guess around six eight or so. In addition, he was also quite beefy; with just his forearms alone bigger than my calves. So, the emotional freak out he was having beside me was quite shocking, and frankly, just fucking hysterical.

"Oh my God, Bella we are going to DIE. The plane could loose a wing, or an engine. Or the pilot could get distracted by a bird and run us into the ground, or another plane! Oh Christ, we're gonna die. Bella! Bella, I'm too young to die! What if someone tries to bomb-" I finally decided to slap my hand over his mouth.

"You do NOT say bomb in an airplane! God-damn, that's just asking to be put on the no-fly list..."

Emmett just pushed my hand away from his face and continued going ape shit in the seat next to me. At this point I gave up and just attempted to ignore him, but that didn't go to well either. I still heard every one of his vacuous theories.

"Bella! What if the ghost of Bin Laden tries to rape me in the restroom?" he wailed at me, I sighed, exasperated, and looked cautiously at the lady who sat on the other side of Emmett. I almost laughed when I saw that she appeared to be a Nun.

"Shut UP, Emmett! Your freaking her out!" I hissed at him, jerking my thumb in the Nun's direction.

I was watching her carefully out of the corner of my eye and noticed she pulled out a book that was about exorcising demons.

"Erm... Sister? I really am sorry for him," I said to her, awkwardly leaning over Emmett. As I realized this was going to be a long flight, I pulled out my novel. Losing myself in a different world with Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett seemed like a better way to go then sitting her and trying to keep Emmett's trap shut.

"Bellaaaa! Sister says that I need to stop swearing or I'm gonna go to hell! Holy Frazzledazzle!" I looked up from my book, and narrowed my eyes at Emmett.

Evidently, Emmett and Sister had put aside their obvious differences and struck up a conversation. Unfortunately, Emmett would, unable to control himself from doing so, turn to me and say retarded shit like that in the midst of their conversing.

He also had managed to mention his full bladder a grand total of seventeen times. I'm starting to think he just has a phobia of airplane restrooms, but God dammit, I just don't care. He needs to get his ass in that bathroom and take a piss before he pees on me, cause' I am fucking positive that if he does that he is getting his ass tossed off this fucking plane.

"Hey Emmett, lets play a game!" I said with false enthusiasm. Emmett, obviously unaware of my sarcastic tone, squealed like a little girl.

"If you win, we can talk to your little hearts content. If I win, you shut the _fuck _up and let me enjoy my novel. Oh! And you go and relieve yourself before you piss your pants. I assure you, you won't get gang raped. I'd be amazed if you could fit through the door by yourself,"

"Okay!" he agreed happily, "What game?"

"The quiet game. Starting now," I said.

"Shit fuck," he muttered, and I grinned victoriously.

"Go pee, dick-face," I smiled, and he begrudgingly started on his way towards the sorry excuse for a bathroom. When he got his fat ass out of the row, I glanced at the Nun to offer a smile. The bitch glared at me. Holy my ass, Sister. You are just hypocritical hag. What would Jesus do? Not act like a fucking bitch, that's what. Even with Emmett wearing on my nerves, I still made an attempt to be some-what friendly. So this ancient mother fucker had no excuse.

Emmett arrived back at our row now. Holding a cinnamon roll.

"What the fuck? Did you go to the toilet or a bakery?" I asked him, with an incredulous.

"This really nice dude gave it to me, and he gave me these beads!" he said excitedly. I didn't even try to hold in my laughter.

"Jesus, dude! What the fuck is it with you and attracting gay men?" I asked, wiping tears from my eyes.

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, with his ass in my face as he attempted to get to his seat.

"Did you do this when you were talking to that gay guy? Because then I could understand how you got the cinnamon roll," I giggled.

"Bella, he was not gay!" he shouted, sticking the beads in his mouth. I almost peed as I leaned over to him.

"Emmett, those are his anal beads," I whispered, he proceeded to spit them out directly into the Nun's lap.

"AHH! I demand a seat change!" she shouted. The stewardess cam running, glared at Emmett, smiled at the Nun, and then took her by the arm and showed her to a new seat, four rows from us.

"Good job Em," I smiled at him as he angrily took a bite out of his most likely roofie infested cinnamon roll to rid of the taste of gay balls.

"Why didn't you tell me before I stuck them in my mouth!" he asked.

"I thought you knew," I lied, shrugging innocently and flashing doe eyes.

"And you should know by now not to stick shit in your mouth. Especially from strangers. What are you, a fucking three year old?" I asked him, struggling to hold back my smile.

"Well, ehh, you're MEAN!" he shouted, and scooted over into the now un-occupied chair.

"You do realize your little cinnamon roll is probably filled with enough roofies to knock out an elephant?" I told him shrugging.

He spit it out and threw the cinnamon roll into the isle.

"Bitch, why couldn't you have told me before?"

"I thought you heard me the first time, don't put shit from strangers in your mouth."

"STEWARDESS!"

"What do you want?" An angry old stewardess asks as she approaches us. Weren't stewardesses supposed young and nice?

"An apple juice, I wanna promote healthy bones!"

I just rolled my eyes and politely asked for a ginger ale.

"I'll be right back with that," she mumbled, eying Emmett weirdly.

A few minutes later a _flamboyant _looking man-thing was standing next to out isle holding our drinks.

"Betty told me to bring these over for you guys," he smiled, licking his lips.

"Here," he said, roughly thrusting the ginger ale in my general direction.

"Oh, hey Emmett. I didn't see you there," he said, with a wink. I almost spat out my drink.

"Um, hey Tom," Emmett said awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

"I made this special for you, would you like some alka-seltzer in it? You're looking kind-of green," he said, dropping a white looking pill into the apple juice. _Tom _grinned, and extended his arm towards Emmett.

"Um... I'd rather go drink out of the toilet," Emmett said, and Tom quickly retracted and scurried away looking dejected.

"Fuck my life..." Emmett groaned. I chuckled, and handed him the rest of my drink. Come on, I'm not a total bitch.

"Awwww thanks Bella!" Emmett cooed before snatching up my drink and rapidly chugging it.

"Okay everybody this is your captain speaking, Captain Jack, you may have heard of me. If not... Alright," he sounded legitemently upset at that last part there, "Okay, so we are now making our final descent into the Seattle airport. I hope you had an lovely flight, and I hope to see you all again."

"Awww! Our time together is going to end soon." Emmett told me frowning.

"Nope, I'm going to visit , I assure you. I do not lie young Padawan learner."

"Yay!"

Soon the plane landed and we got off the plane and headed towards the front of the airport. I'm ashamed to admit this but I forced Emmett to get my bags off the Spinny thingy for me.

We got outside and instantly grinned as he saw a pretty blonde girl who seemed about our age, I'm going to assume this was the girlfriend I had heard about.

"Hey Emmett, How were Aunt Mildred's bunyans?"

"Not as bad as Gram's. How did she fare in my absence by the way?"

"Pretty good, thankfully Doris only asked me for a Neck massage... Her cats missed you, you're the only one who ever gives them table scraps." She told him.

I looked around for my Dad's car but it was nowhere in sight... This fucking figures... He forgot that I was even coming.

"So Emmett you seem to brought along another admirer, and this one is actually a girl." The girl noted.

"You noticed that too?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yeah, I swear every time I turn my back he has a new 'friend', who gives him little gifts..." She led off.

"Like the guy on our flight who him gave him anal beads and a cinnamon roll, both of which he stuck in his mouth, against his better judgment."

"Hey! You didn't tell me they were anal beads until they were in my mouth. And when I learned their true nature I promptly spit them out on a Nun." Emmett defended himself.

"Em, you spit on a Nun?" She laughed.

"Hey, she was a mean one, I swear it... But she was at least better than that chick who chased us around the airport..." I led off.

"It sounds like the two of you have had a pretty interesting day so far. But please do tell, why were you chased through the airport?"

"Well, it all started when we met in the ladies room," Emmett began telling her our pretty damn epic story.

"Wow... Arizona airports... Pretty freakin' messed up..."

"Yeah thank god I'm never going back there..." I led off absently.

"I just realized I'm being rude here, my name's Rose." The blonde girl told me.

"I'm Bella." I told her as we shook hands.

"So Bella do you have a ride?" Emmett asked curiously.

I glanced around a bit, "To be completely honest, I'm starting to think I'm stranded,"

"I guess I'll give my ride a call and see if they forgot."

I called my Dad several times over and he never answered...

"Bella, where are you headed? We can probably drop you off, if you don't mind stopping for some breakfast," Rose told me, smiling sweetly. My stomach growled at the mention of food.

"You probably haven't heard of it... But, I'm going to Forks," I told them, eying the specs of dirt on my sneakers.

"Holy Llamas! That's where we're going!" Emmett shouted happily.

"Okay, now this world is so small to the point of which I think I may just fall off."

**Shoot us a review, will ya? **


	3. Maniacal Driving

**A note from Ab: Hey guys! Thanks for reading and reviewing last chapter! I just wanted to say that the length of the flight and other extraneous information like that may not be accurate. While I do apologize for that, there really isn't much I can do to change that. Anyway, what I'm saying is, please don't stop reading our story because we we're wrong about what time the sun comes up. Thanks! Love you guys! **

**~Bella~**

From a brief conversation I had had with Charlie before coming here I knew that it took about an hour and twenty minutes to get from the airport to Port Angeles. Rose had managed the same drive in thirty-five minutes. I'm genuinely shocked we didn't get pulled over... Or drive over the barrier of the freeway. Needless to say, I was relieved to find the car pulling into the parking lot of what seemed to be a little diner.

"The breakfast burritos and muffins are to die for!" Rose told me eagerly as she swerved into a parking space. My stomach growled at the mention of food, and I unbuckled my seat belt and hopped out of the car.

"Good, cause I am so hungry," I replied, glancing up at the sky as the sun began to burst with colors as it rose. We walked inside and a waitress smiled at us and told us to sit wherever we wanted. We nodded and plopped into a both next to a window. Rose and Emmett sat next to each other and I settled in across from them. A girl around our age came over, placed menus in front of us, and asked if we wanted anything to drink. Coffee and waters all around. Of course with an apple juice for Emmett. After a few minutes of drooling over the menu the same girl came back. She quickly placed our drinks on the table, looking impressed with herself. I presume by the fact that she managed to not drop anything. And I for one, totally would have.

"Have you decided what you want?" she asked with an exhale, looking at the three of us.

"I suppose I'll get the bacon breakfast burrito with a apple cinnamon muffin." I told the waitress. She gave a little nod then glanced at Rose, who politely asked for the same. Then Emmett asked essentially for what we were getting... Times three.

"So, Bella have you ever been to Forks?" Rose asked me.

"Nope, I have yet to visit my new home," I told her, wrapping my arms around my middle.

"You're one lucky bitch," Emmett informed me waving his fork around in the air as if it was his magic wand.

"It's that bad?"

"It's worse." They both said in unison.

"Fuck my life..." I moaned, imagining a bunch of Bible-humping, narrow minded, hypocritical little bastards.

"Oh, and you need to know one thing... If you show up to that school with us, almost every single person in that school will immediately write you off as a freak. See, Em and I don't exactly have the best rep in that place," Rose explained.

"This sounds exactly like the town I lived before to the dot. Just a bit wetter..." I told them with a shrug.

"Seriously?" they asked in unison.

"Seriously," I said.

"Here's your food guys," the girl said, and we all hummed appreciatively and practically starting eating the food before it was even set on the table.

"Thank you," I called after her as I prepared a bite of food on my fork.

"Mmmmm," I groaned.

"I know right!" Emmett said, mid-chew. I smiled at him and we continued eating the rest of our food in a comfortable silence. We were all too hungry to bother engaging in small talk.

"You guys need anything else," the waitress asked, appearing next to our table.

"Nope, thank you. I was just about to go pay," Rose replied, the girl offered a polite smile and walked over to one of her other tables.

"Rose, baby, let me pay," Emmett said, as Rosalie slid out of the booth.

"Uh-hu, I'm paying. You guys drove me here," I chimed in, standing up.

"No, I've got it," Rose smiled at the both of us.

"I'm the dude, I pay," Emmett argued.

"Rock, paper, scissors?" I asked.

"Deal," they agreed.

"Rock, paper, scissors, SHOOT!" we chanted in unison. Emmett got up to pay, victorious over both mine and Rose's rocks. My ass paper beats rock. Paper doesn't beat anything... Except maybe my finger sometimes. I fucking hate paper cuts. They're the tiniest little cuts, but they always hurt like shit and bleed for an hour.

"We ready to go?" I asked when Emmett came back.

"Just about, I gotta pee," he said, and turned to walk towards the bathroom.

"Use the men's room this time, Emmett!" Rose and I called after him, he turned and flipped us off.

"I'm driving," Emmett announced when we left the diner.

"Uh uh," Rosalie fought, walking towards the door and attempting to open it. Emmett grinned like a Cheshire cat as he dangled the keys from his fingers. He walked to the passengers side, unlocked that door, and held it open.

"Your seat, m'lady," he said. Rosalie narrowed her eyes for a moment before smiling deviously.

She sauntered over to him, kissed him on the cheek, and pulled the keys off his finger. She then got in the car and crawled over the center console to the drivers side. I chuckled at them as Emmett huffed and got in the car himself. I slid into the back, then we were off again with Rose behind the wheel. I fear for my life...


	4. 12 Cats and A Palm Reading

**Ab~ So, I kinda added the last chapter without Em's consent. And considering the fact that to do so I had to hack her account, she may be pissed.  
>Oh well! It got the chapter out to you guys faster.<strong>

**Em~ Ab and I had a slight disagreement on what Emmett's last name was... I voted McCarthy, Ab voted for McCartney. It seems we are both dipshits and the all knowing and powerful Google proclaims it's McCarty. Dammit.  
><strong>

**~Bella~**

The drive to Forks was rather uneventful, well scratch that, it was as uneventful as anything involving _Emmett_ could be. Emmett couldn't even take a piss without causing mayhem. Mayhem being gay men fawning over him and angry old bitches chasing him. I guess I could be an optimist and say Emmett made things... Interesting.

"Hey, Bella, would you mind taking a pit stop at Emmett's house. I gotta check up on his Grams. You know old people..." Rose trailed off, leaving me imagining an old senile woman hiding under a couch.

"Yeah, no problem," I said absently, staring out at the masses of green trees.

"So, did Grams have any trouble at all with the grocery store since that asshole got rid of the old people mechanical carts?" Emmett asked Rose, a bit worried as he remembered that important piece of information.

"Nope, I did all her errands while she went to one of her many doctors... By the way, they're looking into another hip replacement surgery because evidently they did the last one... wrong," Rose informed him while turning onto the street that I assumed was Emmett's.

"Shit, did she say if our insurance would cover another surgery?" Emmett asked.

"From what I have been told, yes."

"Thank God, we can't afford any more surgeries."

"You think I don't realize that? I helped your Grams with her taxes the other day... It kinda took awhile."

"I don't even know how that shit works, so I applaud your effort." Emmett told her sarcastically, clapping his hands.

"Oh neither do I, nor does Grams, lets just say we got to know Rick from the telemarketing division in England very well, in fact he's now on our Christmas card list."

I snorted, "How long were you guys on the phone?"

"Like two hours...Also, Emmett stop buying Calvin Klein boxer shorts they're gonna put you in debt!"

"They look nice on me though! And one of their models looks _exactly _like me." Emmett pathetically defended from the passenger seat.

I slapped him on the back of his head, "Emmett, that is not a legitimate reason to buy underwear, let alone designer underwear."

"Thank you Bella! See, Emmett? Someone in this world besides myself possesses some common sense," Rose cheered happily as we pulled into the short driveway of the house I assumed was Emmett's.

"Bella, you aren't allergic to cats, right?" Emmett asked me suddenly as I saw a cat come out a tiny kitty cat door right beside the front door.

"Negatory," I replied, as Rose killed the engine and hopped out the car, signaling us to do the same.

"Dammit, Avalanche! You aren't allowed out here," Emmett scowled a big, bright white cat that ran at him the second he got out the car.

"Cute cat," I commented, gazing at the fluffy white fur-ball as Emmett picked it up.

"Hey, I found this guy when I was six!"

"Yeah, Six-teen," Rose corrected him smiling.

I giggled at that; this guy was basically a freaking toddler.

"I _deeply _resent that," Emmett replied while hoisting Avalanche onto his shoulder as if the poor thing was a parrot.

Rose sighed and walked around to the back of the car in order to retrieve Emmett's duffel bag.

"Hey Em, is it just me, or does Avalanche look like he's getting a horrible case of altitude sickness?" I asked as the cat dug its claws into Emmett's shoulders.

"He is not, he simply is getting acquainted this position I have him in," Emmett replied, and I shook my head.

"I suggest setting him down before he pukes on you."

"He is not gonna-, Oh shit! Don't puke on me you little son of a bitch!" Emmett screamed as the cat hurled down his back then hopped back down into the safety of the grass.

"Goddamn it, cat," Emmett muttered, picking him back up normally to take him into the house.

"I desperately need a new shirt. Come on ladies, lets go inside and have some tea with Grams while she watches re-runs of How I Met Your Mother."

"Sounds good," Rose and I told him. We all walked into the house and the second I did I realized two things.

One~ Avalanche was NOT Emmett's only cat.

Two~ His grandmother gives new meaning to the word 'lonely.'

"B4! Ooooh BINGO!" the little old lady called to herself. The three of us politely ignored the oddity of the situation.

"How many cats do you even have Em?" I asked, glancing at the cats scattered around the room.

"Bella, I stopped counting a very long time ago," Emmett replied sighing as he ran off to his room with his duffel bag.

"He's over-exaggerating, dear. We only have 12 cats," the old woman spoke again, and I smiled at her. _Only _12 cats? Ha! Rose giggled and grabbed the nearly empty glass next to Grandma and filled it with tea.

"So love, where are you coming to us from?"

"The airport bathroom," I smirked.

"Wonderful, wonderful! We're so glad to have you," she said, not the lease bit phased by my response. I think I liked this woman.

"So, what should I call you?" I asked, sitting in a wooden chair next to her.

"Well, you can call me Grandma Doris, Grams, Grammy, Miss. Doris, anything you like sweetie dear," she said, a motherly smile on her face.

"Okay. Well, I'm Bella," I introduced myself.

"That's a beautiful name, sweetest," she said, patting my hand.

"Thank you, Grams." I told her blushing slightly.

"Okay, so lets get down to business." Grams said motioning for me to stand in front of her.

"To defeat the Huns..." I muttered under my breath.

"Okay, so now it's time for a palm reading. I haven't had anyone new to give a reading to in absolute ages, so come here dearest. Pull up that chair and give me your left hand," she commanded. I did as she told me, and placed my hand palm up in hers.

"Oh dear, you have an interesting love life ahead of you. Only one man shall ever have your heart. And the two of you will live out your entire lives together. Never to part. Such a lovely concept love. But what is this? A tragedy shall befall you soon, but do not fear, it shall not take your life. And your love will prove himself during this time of trial. You have so far lived a life of isolation, but that is soon to change. You will have a family with those who do not share your blood. You will be successful in your future work. You are very intelligent." Doris concluded panting out the last part before she grabbed her tea to take a huge gulp. My eyebrows furrowed at the future she just layed out for me and my arms were suddenly covered in goose bumps.

"Wow, you are certainly an interesting case Bella," Rose informed me strolling into the room.

"The first time I came over here, she did the same for me. It seems she's pretty accurate, though, aren't you, Grams?"

"I take palmistry very seriously," Grams said solemnly, before happily smiling at my hand.

"You've got one interesting life ahead of you, love, that is for certain," she told me grinning.

"I also hope you realize that, that man of yours is certainly going to have to come and meet me so I can read his palms also. I just love comparing the palms of people in love!" Grams told me grinning.

"You should've seen her face when she read me and Rose's palms side by side, I swear your dentures almost broke. She almost screamed out she and I were going to get married one day," Emmett told me grinning sweetly at Rose.

"And that Bella, was on our first date." Rose informed me shaking her head slightly in disbelief.

"My, my aren't we forward." I snorted.

"It's the only way to be, dearest. My husband Richard and I married after only knowing eachother for two months,"

"And how did that work out for you?" I implored.

"We were married for fifty three years, until he passed away several years ago of a heart attack," She told me sadly, twiddling her thumbs nervously.

"I am so sorry, ma'am," I said sincerely.

"He was a good man, he led a good life, and I am very grateful for every single moment we spent together," she said decidedly.

"That's a very good way to view it," I told her smiling weakly.

"It certainly is, isn't it?" She asked me as Emmett came around to kiss her forehead and wrap a blanket around her frail frame.

"And plus, I've got this goober to take care of me now. Gotta be thankful for him. Despite the circumstances of which he came to me, he's here. Just where I need him." She said affectionately, patting his hand before Emmett ran off to go grab her medicine.

"That boy... He's gonna make a fine husband for you Rose." Grams said smiling happily at the blushing Rose.

"Okay Grams time for your lunch time pills." Emmett sang happily as he set down a tray with a snack and her pills.

"Don't want to take your pills on an empty stomach, do we?" Emmett asked her like a little nurse as she giggled and ate her snack before taking her giant dose off pills and gulping down her tea to chase it.

The four of us sat and spoke for several hours and of course Emmett introduced me to every single one of his cats (by name). In kitty cat roll call there was; Avalanche, Sneakers, Sock, Pawz, Moose, Sailor, Ninja, Samurai, Sparta, Spazz, Sprinkles, and Cupcake. To be honest I was tempted to take several of Emmett's animal friends home with me. In fact, Cupcake was trying to get up under my hoodie...

"Cupcake is quite the charmer isn't she?" Grams inquired as I nuzzled my face in Cupcake's long, fluffy fur.

"I think this cat has turned me into a cat person for life." I told her, giggling as Cupcake started climbing up on my shoulder.

"She has that effect on people, trust me, before I met that little bugger I hated cats. But look at me now spending some quality time with Sneakers while he tries to in fact steal mine." Rose told me as Sneakers managed to untie one of her sneakers and run off with it.

"I'm going to need that back at some point ya know!" Rose shouted at Sneakers as he dragged off his latest prize.

"Don't worry about it I found his stash yesterday. Which means I have exactly twelve more hours until he makes a new stash." Emmett told us shrugging before jogging after his crafty kitty.

"Guideline number Uno of the McCarty residence, never wear your favorite sneakers here. They will be stolen at some point in your stay and it takes even Emmett awhile to find Sneakers' latest hidey hole." Rose informed me.

"Guideline number Dos, never get in between Sailor and the bathtub, don't expect to EVER shower without him hopping in. Don't worry though, you kinda get used to it after awhile... In a completely weird way."

"Guideline number Tres, never ever give Spazz actual catnip, dry catnip is like freakin' kitty cat cocaine, and trust me that cat does not need any more shit."

"Guideline number Cuatro, Samurai is a little shit and at some point, like the little tiger he is, he will pounce. And you will piss your pants."

"Guideline number Cinco, Sock comes in for the kill shortly after Sneakers does, stealing away your precious Socks. Though he tends to be easier to find because he ALWAYS sticks his head inside the sock and runs into shit."

"Guideline number Seis, Avalanche pukes. A lot."

"Guideline number... Dora only taught me how to count to ten in Spanish!"

"You only counted to six, babe," Emmett said from across the room with an amused look on his face.

"Ummm... Dora didn't teach me shit!"

"And it shows, hun." I chimed.

"Screw you guys! I'm going home!" Rose said, blushing as she got up.

"Bye Rose- Wait, shit, you're my ride!" I shouted.

"Watch your tongue, dearest!" Grams shouted at me.

"Sorry, Grandma," I said bashfully, leaning over to give her a hug.

"Be back soon, lovely," she said, patting my back as I released her.

"Of course!" I replied.

"Bye, Emmett," I said, walking over to him by the door. I got up on my tip toes to deliver this hug, and barely managed to get my arms around his waist.

"Bye Be- Hey!" he exclaimed, leaning away from me. I started to ask what, when I saw he was holding Cupcake by her tail.

"You have a stowaway," he grinned, and I giggled.

"I had nothing to do with that," I said, putting my hands up in the air.

"Of course you didn't. Now get outta here, Rosalie isn't a patient woman," he said, pushing my shoulder.

"Bye Emmett," I giggled, and walked out of the door.

"Come back soon you hear me Bells? I have your number and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"Well, I know where you and your adorable cats live, asshole." I quipped.

"LANGUAGE!" Grams loudly scolded me from inside.

"Gotcha Grams!" I shouted back.

"Yeah Bella watch your language around my frail Grandmother!"

"What did you just say about me young man?"

"Nothing Grandma!" Emmett shouted back towards Grams, fear evidently played out on his face.

"You better watch your face Swan."

"You better watch your back McCarty." I told him, smiling innocently then hopped into Rose's car.

"You ready?" she questioned.

"Yup,"

**We took the time to write it, you take the time to review it. It's common curiosity. **


	5. Change Of Scenery

**Hey guys! Pretty quick update, huh? Don't pretend you're not impressed. Enjoy.**

**~Bella~  
><strong>

"So, where am I going?" Rose asked, pulling out of the drive way. I told her my address and suddenly a big smile graced her face, the corners of her eyes crinkling and her high cheekbones turning pink.

"I seriously live a block away from there!" she told me with a note of excitement in her voice.

"That's awesome! Now I don't have to hitchhike get there!"

"You were planning on hitchhiking to my house?" she cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah, I don't have a car, and you wouldn't want to drive to get me all the time, and I can always ride in style, even when hitchhiking..." I trailed.

"Well, you know what, we'll carpool. So we can go to school and Emmett's together. Ooooh, and go on road trips to Port Angeles!" she added, grinning.

"That sounds absolutely awesome," I told her smiling, I could feel myself attaching to her. I felt like we had already known each other for years, rather than just hours. I hoped it would last.

"So Bella, are you going to school tomorrow? It's our last week before Thanksgiving break," Rose informed me as we pulled into Forks' main drive.

"Yeah of course I will. Want to exchange numbers real quick?" I asked her pulling my phone out of my pocket.

"Sounds good, but lets wait until we're at your house. I don't want to die without eating some of Gram's legendary Thanksgiving stuffing," she said seriously.

I laughed, "Grams cooks?"

"Yeah, most of the time Emmett does the cooking, but on holidays Emmett sets up a nice chair for Grams in the kitchen and she goes all out cooking. The food she bakes is so delicious that we make her bake enough to last us for weeks," she told me, and I swear to Christ I even saw a little drool at the corner of her mouth.

"I can't even imagine food that good," I giggled.

"Bella, I know its a tad bit too soon for this, but I've got this good feeling about you so... Would you come to our Thanksgiving? I mean its not a big deal, its just my family, Emmett, and Grams; but we've done this every year since me and Em met, so it's kind of a tradition."

"That sounds amazing! I would absolutely love to go! Its kind of doubtful Dad, Tanya, and I are going to do anything... So this will work. Rose you can't even comprehend how much this means to me. No one has ever been this willing to... spend time with me before,"

"Well, there's a first for everything Bella." Rose told me smiling.

"So that Palm reading Grams gave me... Pretty interesting don't you think?"

"Yeah, it was pretty intense as far a palm readings go. Out of all the ones I've witnessed they've never been so detailed and dramatic," Rose informed me biting her lip.

"And they're usually accurate?"

"Surprisingly so," she replied.

"Was yours right?" I asked her.

She nodded, "Yeah she definitely got mine right."

"I'm going to kind of take a shot in the dark and guess that, that isn't exactly a good thing."

"Yeah, its kinda a conversation for later. For now lets stick with Grams is good at that stuff."

"Alright, so on a scale of one to ten how suckish is school going to be?"

"11.6," she replied a second later.

"Hey, you know what, you could've said twelve. I'll take what I can get. Let's fuck shit up!"

"Well, with that frame of mind you might last like... Oh, two days?" Rose chuckled.

"Are you for me or against me?" I asked sarcastically.

"Always for you, babe. Just trying to be realistic,"

"Reality sucks," I told her, as she pulled in front of my house.

"That it does. Now go get some sleep. I'll pick you up at like 8:20 for school tomorrow, kay?"

"Rodger. Hey, what's your cell number?" I asked.

"894-772-9434," she rolled off and I typed the numbers into my phone then quickly typed out a text and sent it to her.

"There, we're golden. Don't forget your suitcase," she reminded me as I stepped out of the car.

"Of course not," I replied, though I seriously almost had forgotten it.

"Hey, can you help me. This things a bitch to pick up. I made Emmett get it for me earlier,"

"Sure," she was next to me in the back in a few second and we were huffing and puffing as we attempted to pull it out of her trunk.

"OH MY GOD! Bella, I forgot you! Who is this? Do you need help?" My dad rattled off as he sprinted out of the house towards us.

"Dad, this is my friend Rose, I met her boyfriend on my flight here, and when you didn't show up at the airport they gave me a ride home."

"That sure was nice of you Rose, Do you live around here?" he asked Rose, then walked past us and lifted my suitcase out with such ease you would think it was stuffed with feathers.

"Uhhh... like down the block actually," Rose told him shaking off the shock at his uber man strength.

"How did you _do _that?" I questioned, speaking for both me and Rose.

"Police Academy," he grinned at us, doing a couple curl ups with my bag, I rolled my eyes.

"Show off," I muttered.

"He and Emmett would get along great," Rose said, nudging my shoulder as we walked towards the house.

"Who's Emmett?" Charlie asked as we walked in the house.

"My plane buddy."

"My boyfriend."

"Okay then? I suppose I shall meet him soon?"

"Yep, definitely." Rose and I said at once.

"It may or may not scar you for life."

"Should I be worried for your safety?" he questioned with eyebrows raised.

"No," Rose answered before I could.

"Good. Now who's hungry? I just made some kick ass sub sandwiches," he told us. I looked over at Rose an wiggled my eyebrows.

"Who am I to deny a tasty sandwich?" Rose smiled, and I grinned at her.

"Count us in," I said, and he clapped his hands together.

"Great, just give me a few minutes," he said, than walked into the kitchen.

"Hey Tanya, Bella's here. And she brought a friend!" Charlie said happily.

"Bella? I thought she wasn't coming for another- Oh hi Bella!" Tanya chimed from the kitchen.

"Um, hi?" I replied as Rose and I hesitantly walked in towards them.

"Well aren't we just _so _glad to have you here, Bella!" Tanya said with a eerie smile on her face.

"Ummmm sure, yeah it's-it's wonderful," I replied, my eyebrows knitting together at the intensity of her.

"Yes, yes it is," she said lowly, the same creepy smile on her face.

"So, um, this is my friend Rosalie," I introduced.

"Hi, nice to meet you," Rose said, reaching out to shake her hand.

"Hmmm," Tanya muttered, her scary long nails digging in to Rose's skin visibly. Rose pulled away and rubbed the red marks now there.

"Foods ready, kids!" Charlie said from the other side of the kitchen.

"Yay," I said sincerely, thankful for the escape.

"Looks great, Mr. Swan," Rose said as we eyed the sandwiches he set on the counter.

"Thank you. And call me Charlie," he said.

"Got it, Charlie," she replied smiling.

After we finished our subs, Rose and I went up to my room to unpack. Besides some wooden furniture and two lamps, the room was almost completely bare. The bed didn't even have a comforter, just white sheets and a big white blanket.

"Girl, we need to go shopping," Rose said and Charlie walked back downstairs after carrying up my suitcase.

"Evidently," I said, shutting the door.

"And what is up with these walls? Who could ever possibly stand a room with white walls?" Rose asked while glancing around.

"One of those little teenage mini-business-men." I replied shrugging as I realized that it could've been worse, the room could've been a storage closet. And I could've been a little twelve year old boy who had a scar on his forehead and didn't know he was a wizard. Right.

"Do you have any room furnishings in that heavy suitcase of yours or do you just posses the the largest wardrobe known to man?"

"Nah, it's just clothes, books, an antique jewelry box, and CDs in there," I told her, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, it's a start at least. So, lets get what you have in there unpacked and then we can see about making it so you aren't living in a room less decorated than one for a psych ward patient," she said seriously.

I snorted, "Yeah, Hannibal the cannibal had better decor than this," I chuckled.

We began by putting all my clothes in the closet and dresser. While Rose started organizing that, I put all my books and CDs on my large bookshelf.

"It's already starting to feel a bit better in here," I told Rose while motioning towards the bookshelf.

She laughed as she put the last of my pj's in my drawer, "Books make all the difference it seems."

"It definitely still resembles a psych ward," I told her sighing.

"Shall we go see how much Charlie is willing to spare to my good cause?" I asked as she snorted whilst shoving my suitcase under the bed.

"Yes, we shall," she said, standing next to me. We linked arms, and began skipping towards the stairs.

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of oz!" we sang in unison.

"Come forward!" Charlie boomed from the front of the stairs.

I snorted as we skipped down there.

"Anyone who wishes to pass must answer me these questions three!" Charlie told us as we approached him.

"You've completely changed movies Dad, but that's alright because... Monty Python is awesome," I told him.

"Ask me your questions bridge keeper I am not afraid!" Rose resounded.

"What is your name?"

"Rosalie Lillan Hale!"

"What is your quest?"

"I seek decent furnishings for Bella's room!"

"What is your favorite color?"

"Purple...No red!" Rose said as she dramatically threw herself to the ground.

"What is your name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

"What is your quest?"

"I seek decent furnishings for my room!"

"What is the air speed velocity of a swallow?"

"African or European swallow?" I asked him in return and then he cursed under his breath before throwing himself to the ground on the opposite side of Rose.

"Here's all you'll need. Don't get yourself arrested! Have fun shopping!" Charlie told me while reaching into his wallet and handing me a shiny silver credit card. I grinned at him and helped him off the floor. Rosalie hopped right up too and the both of us sprinted down the stairs and headed for the door.

"Thanks dad!" I called behind me.

"No problem, just don't buy anything stupid like a hello kitty waffle-maker!"

"Hey, I like having Hello Kitty shaped waffles!" Tanya defended from some other part of the house.

"Is it just me or is your step mom a bit... Out there?" Rose asked me as we walked down the steps and towards the car.

"I guess. She creeps me out a little. She's always so intense. When I first met her at the wedding I thought she was just stressin', but I dunno," I said as we slid into the car.

"Intense is right. And did you see those talons! I swear to Jesus, she was trying to draw blood when we shook hands," Rose told me shuddering at the thought.

"Maybe she's just like one of those chicks from reality tv... You know, starting fights for no reason, partying like they're still twenty-one, dressing like they belong on a street corner," I said.

"If things ever get to crazy my door is always open, kay chica?" Rose said honestly.

"What? Is she going to turn me into her next Hello Kitty waffle?"

"More like a Bella sandwich in-between two hello kitty waffles," Rose giggled.

"Wait, how has she gone from Jersey Shore bitch, to crazy cannibalistic satanist?" I asked giggling, and Rose shook her head.

"I don't think there's anything actually wrong with her. I mean, my dad did marry the girl. Sure, she's a little... Eccentric, but everyone has their quirks, right?"

"Course, now what color are we painting your walls?"


	6. Morning Prep

**Ab~ Sorry it's a bit late guys, that obviously wasn't our intention.  
><strong>

**Em~ The first paragraph is based off the make it pink make it blue argument throughout sleeping beauty :)**

**Also listen to the song Everything Is Alright - Motion City soundtrack while reading this chapter**

**Also Love Sac isn't something perverted, it seems it's a type of bean bag chair...**

**Ab~ IT'S NOT A BEAN BAG CHAIR. Wash your mouth. You should be ashamed of yourself.  
><strong>

**~Bella~**

"No Rose! It's my freaking room! And I don't even like pink! Why the hell should you get to choose?" I yelled.

"Bella, you're room can't be blue! Blue is a depressing color, and-"

"Depressing? Blue is my favorite color! I HATE pink!" I screamed. Okay, so I didn't hate pink. A fair amount of my tops were actually pink, but I did not, under any circumstances, want pink walls.

"Bella. Your walls are gonna be pink! Deal with it," she yelled back, grabbing the can off the shelf. I followed her down the isle and ignored the stares we were getting.

"ROSE! You can't just- Whoa..." I stopped mid-yell and stared at a can of paint.

"Bella it's already decided, stop look... Oh wow, that's really pretty," she said, looking at the same shade of silver I was.

"Rose go grab that can of black paint," I said.

"Perfect," she grinned.

"Oh, Idea! We can write shit on the silver walls with the black paint and vise-versa!" I concluded doing my 'I'm really happy' dance dance in the middle of the store.

"I'm going to just pretend I understand whatever the fuck it is you're doing," Rose said, playing with her hair as I concluded my solo.

"That was my happy dance that has never been performed the same way twice," I informed her with a wink.

"Oh, of course," she said, grabbing a can of the silver paint.

"You know you love it," I grinned, picking up the black paint and walking with her towards the cash register.

"You're insane," she giggled, setting the paint up on the counter.

"Yes, embrace the insanity, Rose. Embrace it!" I said, handing the tattooed dude behind the counter the credit card.

"Repel, repel, repel... repe- Embrace. God dammit," Rose muttered before taking the now bagged and paid for cans of paint and running outside towards the car.

"See Rose, insanity is the new sanity!"

"God, save our souls," she said, looking at the sky.

After five hours of raiding stores and driving all over Washington state we finally headed back to my place with a car full of stuff. Stuff being posters, paintings, rugs, lamps, a love sac, curtains, a bed spread, and way too many pillows. When we pulled up in front of my house again at a quarter after six we gathered as many bags of shit as we could and ran them into the house.

"Okay, so there is no way we can paint and get everything set up tonight, so lets just work on it after school, m'kay?" Rose said.

"Sounds like a plan," I agreed.

"Awesome. Hey, I should head home, B. School tomorrow and everything.." she trailed.

"Your picking me up at 8:20, right?" I questioned.

"You got it," she said, as we walked to the door.

"Alright, see ya then. Now, get off my property!" I joked.

"Bye Bella," she said, squeezing me lightly, before jogging to her car.

"Bye Rose! Lets fuck shit up tomorrow!" I called after her.

After Rose left I relinquished the credit card to Charlie and forced him to help me carry all my stuff upstairs while Tanya finished up dinner. We ate some chicken enchilada pasta, I gave my compliments to the chef, and then headed upstairs to shower in my bathroom and go get in some Z's before my first day of hell~ oh, excuse me~ school began.

I woke up at about 7:30 and started the painful process of prepping myself for school. I hated Mondays. I quickly washed my face and brushed my teeth before throwing on my favorite ensemble. Black converse hightops, my torn up gray skinny jeans, and my Breaking Benjamin concert tee. I put on a little makeup, slid on my lucky purple hoodie, and threw my backpack over my shoulder before running downstairs to the kitchen to make myself some breakfast.

I was really genuinely surprised to find Tanya there all gussied up in what I assumed to be her uniform for work while she baked what I thought were Hello Kitty waffles.

_'Destroy her beauty...and it shall be mine' _I heard Tanya muttering, but shrugged it off and walked in.

"Good morning," I chirped as I opened up the fridge to find myself a bottle of water.

"Why, good morning Bella, I hope you like Hello Kitty waffles!" she said with a wide smile on her face.

"Who wouldn't like a good waffle in the morning? Let alone a waffle with Hello Kitty imprinted on it!" I told her happily as I set my backpack down on the table so I could sit and eat.

"I was hoping that we could all have a nice family breakfast this morning, but your Dad got called in for a bank robbery, so it looks like its just the two of us!" Tanya informed me as she brought over two plates of waffles over along with some yummy looking syrup.

"So, am I driving you to school today?" Tanya asked me with wide eyes as we began to eat our breakfast.

"Surprisingly no. I'm carpooling with Rose everyday now," I told her smiling at the thought of having friends.

"That's good, and I made you a doctors appointment for Thursday, Charlie said he talked to your Mom and she said you were due for an appointment. I figured I could check you out of school early and go there. Then we can just kind of hang around town maybe catch a good movie or go out to dinner with your Dad." She informed me as I scarfed down the last few bites of my waffle.

"Sounds good, I think the new Harry Potter just came out so we can probably catch that," I suggested, putting my plate in the sink. She nodded and handed me some cash for lunch, I muttered a quick thanks, and a goodbye before she scampered out for work. I later learned she worked as a receptionist in a dentist office. Doesn't that sound like fun?

I looked at the clock and saw it was just 8:10. Good, that should give me enough time to go practice some dental hygiene.

I finished brushing my teeth and locking up the homestead right as Rose pulled up to the house.

"Good morning!' I trilled, getting myself settled in the passenger seat.

"Good morning, Bells. Okay, so now we just have to pick up Emmett and we can head to hell," Rose informed me as we pulled off my street.

"Sounds fantastic," I joked, "Speaking of hell, is there any specific people I should avoid?"

"I recommend staying away from Royce King, Jessica Stanley, Mike Newton, Tyler who gives a shit, and Eric Yorkie. You obviously should talk to Emmett and me, and we have a couple other people to introduce you to later," she informed before cranking the radio up to play music loud enough to wake us up.

"Cool beans," I replied over the music, and Rose grinned at me, then turned her attention back to the road.

When we pulled into Emmett's driveway, Rose turned down the music and pulled the keys out of the ignition.

"Okay Bells, here's the deal, we have to round up 12 cats from various points within this house, and make sure they all eat their food. Then see to it that Grams is comfy... And, of course, drag Emmett out of bed,"

"Gotcha,"

"Alright, let's do this," she said, unbuckling her seat belt and hopping out of the car. I quickly followed suit and trailed behind her and into the house.

"Oh! Hello dearys! Our Emmett is still in bed. How are you lovely girls this morning?" Grams questioned from her place on the couch. I noticed that, to my amusement, Grams was watching Bridezillas instead of The View like a typical old person.

"Watching Bridezillas, I see," I said to her as Rose went to go wake the bear.

"Oh, yes. I'd prefer Wife Swap or Supernanny, but Emmett canceled that channel to save money," she huffed, and I giggled.

"Would you like to watch with me?" she asked, patting the spot next to her on the sofa.

"Well, I should see if Rose needs some help first, but thanks!" I said, setting my half open backpack next to the door.

"Emmett! Get your ass up! Come on, we need to find the cats then go take Bella to hell early so we can help her get her schedule," I heard Rose say as I walked down the hall.

"Rosieeeeeeee! Let's just go back to sleep," Emmett grumbled in reply.

"Samurai, hey buddy, come here." I whispered over to Samurai before picking him up and sneaking into Emmett's suprisingly clean room.

Rose raised an eyebrow as I tip-toed into the room, I put a finger to my lips and made my way over to Emmett's bed. I gave Samurai this look that I knew he would interpret as 'it's time to shine'.

I threw Samurai up in the air as he poised himself to attack and he landed, with claws out, directly on Emmett's head.

Emmett screamed, "Holy shit fuck! What the hell? Samurai get the fuck off me." Samurai looked pleased with himself.

Emmett threw him off the bed and he landed on his feet beside me. After weaving in and out of my legs a few times, he strutted out of the room, undoubtedly pleased with himself. Emmett rose from the bed looking utterly aggravated.

"Bella... I should've known you were behind this." he said, shooting daggers in my direction.

"Hey, don't hate the player hate the game." I told him in reply as Rose started giggling.

"I think I have scratch marks! Rose do I have scratch marks?" Emmett freaked out which of course led to Rose rolling her eyes before leaning over him to check him over for scratches.

"No, you don't, you big baby," Rose told him sighing before going off to feed the cats.

"I hate you," Emmett told me calmly as he started to lay out clothes on his bed.

"That shirt doesn't go with that jacket," I informed him.

"It does- Oh yeah I guess it kinda doesn't." Emmett agreed before switching out jackets and shooing me out the room so he could get dressed.

I strolled into the kitchen just as Rose finished pouring water in each of the Kitty's bowls.

"Emmett can't even dress himself." I told Rose as I grabbed out the cat food and followed the instructions that were written out. I gave out one scoop to the kittens and two to the big cats.

"Oh, don't I know it Bella. The day he discovers how to color coordinate is the day Avalanche gains an iron gut."

I giggled, "God, I love his cats."

"Don't you?" she replied rhetorically.

"Yeah. Hey, how do all of their name fit them so perfectly?" I asked, and Rose laughed out loud.

"We called them all Kitty for at least two weeks before actually giving them a name," she explained.

"Ah," I replied, running a hand down Sprinkles oddly dotted fur before placing her next to her bowl.

"Hey, are we ready to go?" Emmett asked, coming into the kitchen with his bag handing off his shoulder.

"Yup, let's blow this popsicle stand," Rose replied, grabbing her purse of the counter.

"Bye kids. I'll see you after school," Grams called as I slung my own bag over my shoulder.

"Bye Grams!" We said in unison.

**Em~ I would like to inform all of you that we will meet Edward in the next chapter :)**


	7. It's a Stow Away, Not a Kidnap Victim

**Ab~ Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed last chapter. Though, I'll bet you'll like this chapter even more.  
>You'll be getting a huge helping of Edward Cullen ;D <strong>

**~Bella~**

When we arrived in the parking lot of Forks High School where there were only five cars parked so far. Whoop-de-freaking-do. Emmett and Rose ushered me out of the car and into Building One, which evidently held the office, health classes, art, music classes, and the gym.

The front office was decorated- if you could even call it decorated- in the most bland way possible. White walls, tan counters, brown furniture, and a lone, dying green plant. I think I threw up in my mouth a little. Behind the desk in said office was a woman in her sixties with obviously dyed red hair. It was frizzed out even though it was pulled back in a tight bun, and looked damaged beyond repair. Her muddy eyes were lined in blue and her lips were stained an orange-red color. I struggled to manage a smile as the three of us walked towards the desk.

"Hi, I'm Bella Swan. I'm new..." I said, Rose and Emmett flanking my sides.

"Oh, yes, yes. We've been expecting you," she said, filing through some papers.

"So, here's your schedule. There's also a map of the school and a pink slip. You need to get each of your teachers to sign it, then bring it back at the end of the day," she explained.

"Will do," I replied, taking the papers in my hand.

"Have a good day," she said as we walked out of the office.

"Not likely," I muttered

Emmett snorted, "Such negativity."

"I'm not negative, I'm a realist," I replied, and they rolled their eyes.

"Alright, fine. Now gimme your schedule, girl! I wanna see what classed we have together," Rose said. I offered it out to her and she and Emmett snatched it out of my hand. They grinned as they looked it over.

"We all have english together today," Rose said.

"And you and I have heath together!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Oh, that'll just be oodles of fun," I rolled my eyes.

"And you have art with me tomorrow," Rose told me.

"And spanish with me, and history with the both of us," Emmett finished.

"That's great," I told them grinning as the three of us made our way to English, which happened to be in Building Three.

We strolled happily into the class room and walked to the back where there was a four person table. As we set down our bags and settled into our seats, I looked around the classroom.

Perched on a desktop in front of us was the most attractive guy I have ever seen in my entire life. He rested back on his arms, which were toned and tanned and completely shown off in the white t-shirt he wore. His hair was a crazy bronze color and stuck up in every direction naturally, looking touchable and perfectly messy. A beautiful contradiction. He had a strong jaw and high cheekbones, and dark long eyelashes. His most striking feature was definitely his eyes. They were wide and sparkled a gorgeous green I was just swimming in. I could feel my self swooning just looking at him.

And suddenly a girl walked up to him, completely pulling out of my trance. She was tall in her heels and had curled her hair and just sprayed on pounds of hair spray. Her face was caked in heavy makeup, and her whole persona just screamed fake. I instantly hated her. Then, I hated her more when she opened her mouth.

"Hey, Edward... Do bunnies lay eggs?" she questioned seriously.

"Like, cause, they are like, mammals. And mammals lay eggs, right? Also, the Easter bunny brings us eggs! And how else could he get the eggs?" this girl had the mental capacity of a four year old.

"And like-" she started to go on. I felt the need to intervene.

"Honey, no, bunnies do not lay eggs. Neither do mammals. And the Easter bunny does not exist, neither does the tooth fairy or Santa Clause. Now, for the love of God, please walk away and stop making a fool of yourself," I said, rising to stand next to them and shaking my head in disbelief that she had actually made it to her Junior year of High School.

She made this little sound of offense before turning around and shaking her ass all the way to her seat up front.

Edward let out a laugh before turning to me, "Thanks for that. Victoria's made a ritual of asking all kinds of ridiculous questions every morning. Last Friday she asked is all elephants could fly like Dumbo. I'd find it funnier if she didn't drone on like that. She's so ridiculous that I'm sort of surprised that she can keep this up."

I laughed, "Well, she has definitely woken me up to the horrors of the Washington public school system,"

"I am glad someone else besides myself has noticed this tragedy, I'm Edward by the way," he introduced himself.

"I'm Bella," I told him as we shook hands and laughed as Victoria walked with an over-exaggerated swing of her hips to talk to an old greasy teacher.

"She even goes after the teacher... What. The. Hell."

"Hey Edward, I see you have met our Bella." Rose greeted him whilst hooking arms with me.

"Our Bella? I'm the one who found her in the lady's room!" Emmett fumed while replacing Rose's arm hooked through mine with his own, I giggled and shook his arm.

"Do I want to know the story of you and Emmett's meeting or would it be best for me to pretend that you two just met like normal people?" Edward asked us while raising an eyebrow.

"You want to hear the story, trust me." Emmett informed him while the four of us all went and sat at our table. After explaining our meeting throughly, we sat back pleased with our story-telling skills, and Edward spoke.

"I don't think anyone will ever be able to top that meeting," Edward told us appraisingly as the bell rang announcing that English class has begun.

"Okay class, here are your reading lists for this semester. You are required to choose at least three books off the list to read and you and a partner are to do a report on one of the three." our teacher spoke as he walked into the room. He looked to be in his late forties, and his hair line was retreating slightly. He wore a pair of black framed glasses and his sense of style wasn't completely wrong.

"Talk amongst yourselves," he said, sitting at his desk.

"So Bella, what class do you have next?" Edward asked me as he and I settled into our seats taking the reading lists from the paper-passer-outter-slave.

"Biology," I responded absently, skimming the list.

"Great, me too," Edward responded happily.

Reading list for Eleventh grade Literature:

Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen

Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux

Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

The Odessy - Homer

The Crucible - Arthur Miller

The Scarlet letter - Nathaniel Hawthorne

Wuthering heights - Emily Bronte

The Davinci Code - Dan Brown

Macbeth - Shakespeare

Edward and I looked up from the reading list to see Emmett and Rose making out on their side of the table.

"Hey Bella... Do you want to work together?" Edward asked me sounding slightly bored, but not fazed by the little show going on in front of us.

"Yeah... I think that would be best." I responded slowly turning to face him to find him grinning madly at me and I blushed slightly.

"So what are we going to read?" Edward asked me which led to us having a slightly violent organized discussion about what to read.

We finally agreed on reading Macbeth, Phantom of the Opera, and Pride and Prejudice. Edward sighed heavily at our highlighted reading choices, hey at least he convinced me into reading Macbeth for his sake.

After having several more interesting discussions with Edward while Rose and Emmett finished an extensive anatomy lesson English class finally ended. Our little group split down the middle and Edward and I headed towards out bio class.

We took our seats side by side at a lab table while moving on to discussing music, this was a good topic for the two of us seeing as we seemed to like all the same bands.

I grinned at him, then went fishing in the smallest pocket of my bag in search of my ipod. Not finding their, I opened the largest zipper further and found my self staring into the the eyes... wait _eyes?_ When the fuck did Cupcake get in my bag?

"Cupcake... What are you doing here?" I sighed as I gazed down at the kitty cat taking up residence inside my backpack.

"Seems like you have a stow-away," Edward said beside me, leaning in to look at Cupcake.

"Icksnay on the at-ca" I told him with teeth clenched.

"So, you brought your cat to school?" he questioned, ignoring me.

"Technically, it's Emmett's cat," I replied, smiling sheepishly.

"So, you stole Emmett's cat and brought it to school," he said.

"No! Like you said, she's a stow-away," I defended myself.

"Right.." he said sarcastically.

"Shut up," I muttered, caressing Cupcake's face.

"Awww, she's so cute. Gimme," he said, stealing my bag to pet Cupcake.

Cupcake meowed loudly as Edward took my bag but settled into a purr as he pet her.

"Mr. Cullen, did you just meow?" The teacher inquired from his desk at the front of the room.

"Sorry sir, it was completely relevant to the conversation Bella and I were having." Edward told the teacher and he raised an eyebrow.

"And the purring?"

"That was Bella egging me on to meow." Edward replied while still petting the cat. The teacher sighed while shaking his head muttering about how we should've gotten over animal noises in Preschool.

Edward and I laughed while reaching into the bag to play with our kitty friend, who happened to start purring and meowing again.

"Mr. Cullen and Miss. Swan, put down the backpack and stop the incessant cat noises." The teacher commanded the two of us before we signed in union whilst zipping up my backpack halfway so Cupcake could still breathe and setting it next to my feet.

"Is anyone reading the chapter?" he questioned. Yes' and yups and of courses rang out in the room. Mr. Banner raised and eyebrow.

"Yeah, no," someone said.

"Not really," a few more.

"That's what I thought. Alright, I'm passing around a worksheet. I want it turned in tomorrow completed. Got it?" he asked, having us pass the papers down the rows.

"This is stupid," I insulted the paper before solving the problems with ease.

"This is just busy work while he looks up man purses on Ebay," Edward told me as I heard the sound of his pencil moving fast.

I snorted before moving on to work some more. I finished literally just as the bell rang.

I picked up my backpack, holding it in front of me so I didn't shake up the cat too much.

"Would you like some help carrying your prisoner?" Edward questioned, and I giggled and locked arms with him.

"Let's go,"


	8. Lunchy Time

**Ab~ major writers-block on this chapter, even with both of us working on it. It's been horrible. In addition to the writers-block,  
>Em and I both just started high school ourselves, so it's been a little crazy. I'm sure y'all can relate... Anyway, here it comes. <strong>

**Em~ I do not agree on Ab's stance on cafeteria stake fingers, THEY. ARE. DISGUSTING. Mi amigos that I hang with at lunch and I are cafeteria taquitos, Sun drop, and french fries people. Also whenever me and Ab take turns writing and it's my turn to edit hers I only edit it a tad bit so she's not so snarky...  
>When Ab edits mine its drastic, she claims its cause without that, I would throw in like a giant rampaging chipmunk... Which actually may be true.<br>**

**Bella **

Edward and I walked with an even stride into the cafeteria. We wore matching grins and and our arms were still interlocked**, **causing our sides to press into each other. Edward led us into the left back table where Emmett and Rose already resided, and carefully set down Cupcake's mobile home on the table.

"Well don't you two look happy," Emmett noted perversely.

"Shut your face," I said, the smile still on my face.

"Shut my face? Bella, I think your loosing your touch, in fact- IS THAT MY CAT IN YOUR BACKPACK?"

"Yeah, it is. She sorta crawled-" I began to explain before Emmett interrupted me with more idiotic shouting.

"Bella! You stole my cat? Cupcake, come here sweetie. CUPCAKE!" Emmett shouted at what seemed to be (from an outsiders point of view) just an empty backpack. Cupcake didn't emerge from her little cove as Em expected her to, but instead just hissed at him when he tried to remove her himself.

"I did not steal your cat! I opened up my bag in AP Bio and there she was... Just sitting on top my pencil box meowing**. **The teacher thought Edward and I were having an argument in cat..." I said, smiling slightly at the memory. **  
><strong>

"Come again?" Rose questioned me whilst raising an eyebrow, an amused look gracing her face,

"It was assumed that I purred at Edward to get him to meow," I informed them nonchalantly as Edward pulled out one of the plastic blue chairs for me. _So chivalry isn't dead... _I grinned inwardly.

"What did you two do to my kitty? All she wants to do is hiss and snap at me now!" Emmett asked us.

"She's might be hungry, she probably missed breakfast when she snuck into my bag... Also, cats probably enjoy whiplash as much as we do. I didn't know she was in there for like hour, and I didn't exactly treat my backpack like a kitty crate if you catch my drift. It's understandable that she be a little moody..."

"What are you, like the cat whisperer now? Just because you stole her and stuck her in my backpack doesn't mean you can diagnose her to have the equivalent of bad PMS..." Emmett grumbled.

"I didn't know cats could get PMS..." Edward said.

"They can't, but evidently Emmett can. Go take some Midol, and change your tampon while you're at it, bitchy isn't a good color on you."

"Fuck you." Emmett pouted as he started going through my backpack.

"Why are going through my backpack?" I asked him as he triumphantly pulled out several bottles of pills from my backpack.

"Advil, Dinosaur gummy vitamins, Midol, Zyrtec, ... Sleeping pills? Why do keep sleeping pills in your backpack?" Emmett questioned as he held up my bottle of Melatonin pills.

"I... Why don't you keep sleeping pills in your backpack, Emmett?" I pitifully retorted.

"You really must take class nap times seriously..." Emmett muttered setting down the sleeping pills before quickly taking one of my gummy vitamins.

"Did you actually specifically search my backpack in order to see if I had vitamins?" I asked him raising an eyebrow at him.

"Bellaaaaaa, I want healthy bones!"

"That counter boy back in Phoenix still wants your healthy bone..." I muttered.

"Who wants to go get food?" I asked, standing.

"I do," Edward piped up, and I grinned at him.

"That puts you guys on cat duty," I said to Emmett and Rose.

"I think we can handle a kitt- OW! What the hell? Cupcake just bit me!" Emmett exclaimed.

"Yeah, you can totally handle a kitten," I giggled, grabbing Edward's hand and heading for the lunch line.

"So what would you recommend I get from here, cause all my previous experiences with cafeteria food have ended in me having to choke down some chalky tasting Tums in the nurses office..." I trailed.

"Well, I've always heard that the taquitos don't trigger your gag reflex, but I've personally always gone for the stake fingers..." Edward replied.

In response I stuck six stake fingers on my plate and grinned at him. After close inspection, I also grabbed a decent looking green apple from a wire basket and a can of Sun drop. Edward's plate was essentially identical to mine, just doubled to twelve stake fingers in addition to a little flimsy container of greasy looking french fries.

"Will that be all?" asked a bored looking lady in a white apron and hair net.

"Yes, and hers too, please,"

"Uh, no, I got it thanks," I smiled at the lady. Edward turned and gave me a puppy dog- Okay, well, I absolutely cannot compare Edward to a dog. But he did toss me a pleading glance with his lower lip slightly jutted out and his eyes wide and innocent. Fuck. How do I turn down a look like that?

"Fine," I sighed, and he grinned at the. The lunch lady's eyes have glazed over at this point.

"Oh Steven, what things you could do to me..." The lunch lady sighed while she spun around in her special lunch lady chair.

"Who do you suppose this Steven dude is?" I asked Edward softly as the lunch lady started moaning in a mildly pornographic way.

"Obviously... someone that I pity deeply," Edward responded slowly backing away from her and towards the other cashier stand.

"Sorry about that, Mildred hasn't been quite right in the head since that movie Twilight came out." said another different lunch lady, coming in behind the lady I now knew as Mildred to ring us up.

"No one really has," I laughed, my thoughts suddenly filled with the main character, who coincidentally looked a hell-of-a-lot like Edward.

She smiled at us and asked if Edward was paying for everything, he nodded happily and I frowned. She punched it all in quickly and handed Edward his change. We walked away quickly, thankful to be a comfortable distance away from the Twi-hard lunch lady.

"Time to feed the kitty," I informed everyone as Edward and I arrived back at our table. I promptly spun my bag towards me and fed Cupcake half of a stake finger.

She purred and happily comped down on the piece of mystery meat that I prayed would stay a mystery so I could actually keep it stomached.

"I would like to donate a french fry to this cause!" Edward informed me before handing over a couple fries to serve to the munchkin living in my backpack.

"How charitable of you," I replied, hand feeding the fries to her and scratching behind her ear lightly.

"I'm just a giver," Edward said.

"Oh, and modest too," I fake swooned dramatically placing a hand over my heart.

"You forget sweet, charming, and utterly irresistible," he responded, batting his eye lashes.

"Oh, how I swoon!" I said theatrically, throwing myself in his lap.

"My dear! Do you feel faint?"

"Oh Edward, you do things to me that I can only compare to Mildred and Steven and their forbidden, psychotic love." I told him sighing dramatically, as if the events that had taken place back in the lunch line had been romantic instead of thoroughly disturbing.

"Oh my dearest, Isabella," Edward sighed sarcastically before grasping my hand.

"Oh my dearest, Edward," I mimicked.

"Oh my dearest, I'm getting the hell outta here and going to grab some shitty food for ridiculous prices now." Emmett told us before he and Rose ran off to grab some food, to hopefully share with our kitty. As he and Rose sprinted away like horses with their tails on fire, I burst with giggled that caused me to finally up-right myself in Edward's lap. Edward also shook with his amusement.

"What the fuck?" I chortled.

"I don't know. Shall we pretend that we aren't that fucking weird?" he questioned.

"Yeah, lets pretend that never occurred..." I replied slowly nodding.

"Bella... not that I'm complaining, but uh,"

"Yeah?"

"You're still in my lap."

"Oh snap... That's what I forgot. This never happened. Kk?"

"Yep, this shall be kept between you, me, and the kitten living in your backpack." He confirmed as I hopped out of his bubble and back into my own seat.

"Hey Edward, Bella, Cupcake." Rose and Emmett acknowledged us as they sat back down in their seats and Rose poured a bottle of water into a Styrofoam bowl for Cupcake to drink out of.

Cupcake meowed curiously, peering out at at the bowl a few edges away from the opening in the backpack. She swiftly popped her head out, looked both ways, stuck a single paw out, and sunk her teeth into the Styrofoam pulling it back as close it could get to the backpack. Understanding what it was now, she stuck her face out every few seconds and took a few short licks of the water.

"Awwwwww, isn't she just the cutest thing you've ever seen?" I cooed affectionately as Cupcake crept out yet again, but this time it was to pounce on Emmett's container of fries like it was her pray and drag it stealthy back to her make-shift den as Emmett sat unaware as he made out with Rose.

I glanced back at Edward to see him smiling at her fondly with a some-what bemused expression. So he felt about the same as I did. _This is the cutest and most fuck-awesome cat I have ever had the pleasure to be around. _

She seemed to be on cloud 9 as she gleefully munched on fry after stolen fry. To tell you the truth, I was quite content in watching her as I took a bite out of my apple, which was actually not bad at all.

"Cupcake! Did you steal my fries! Bella, you turned her into a felon!" Emmett whined girlishly as he and Rose came up for air, and apparently food, I gathered, as he stuffed a whole burger down his throat in about three and a half seconds. I found my-self an odd mixture of disgusted and impressed.

I stared pointedly at his second container of fries and the three taquitos on his plate and then glanced back up at him with an expression that I hope he read as "_If you take those fucking fries away from that cat I will not only laugh when she attacks your hand, but I'll bite your grubby mother-fucking dirty ass hands too."_

I think he got it goes he slumped in his seat and took an angry bite out of one of his taquitos. I'm sure he noticed the smug expression I now had on my face. Rosalie just looked amused, but she rubbed Emmett's big beefy man-baby arm in attempt to comfort him. It worked, because they were having another nauseating tongue battle ten seconds later. _Ew. _

"To answer your internal question, yes they are always like this, and no, it's never not repulsing," Edward said, catching my grossed-out countenance. **(I'm not gonna lie, definitely used the thesaurus on that one guys. I figured it was time to try out a new word~ Ab)**

Rose stuck her middle finger up at us behind Emmett's head amidst frenching him and I rolled my eyes. She couldn't even come up to tell us to fuck off properly. I rolled my eyes and looked away from them and back at Edward.

"So..." I trailed, running my fingers through my hair nervously.

"Yeah, so... Soo- Oh shit! I think it's time to go," Edward declared after glancing around the nearly vacant cafeteria. I laughed and agreed with him, throwing away the empty fry containers and other trash before carefully placing Cupcake's temporary living space on my back.

"What class do you have next?" Edward asked me.

"Umm, health with," I leaned over towards Em and Rose, "Emmett," I said, smacking him on the back of the head for emphasis.

"Ouch! What the- Oh, time to go babe," Emmett announced pulling away from Rose.

"Dammit, I don't want to go to Chemistry! There's fucking no one in there, and Mr. Gragender is an asshole," Rose spat out as we walked out of the cafeteria.

"Well Bella and I have to go sit through nearly two hours of sexual education," Emmett adding, winking at me. I rolled my eyes and leaned into Edward side as we stepped out into the cold.

"It's what I look forward to all day," I retorted sarcastically as Edward put his arm around me when I shivered.

Emmett let out a chuckle before giving me a slight pat on the back, "And you should, your getting to learn all the wonders of sexy time by a forty year old man using textbook definitions,"

"Lovely. It's exactly how I wanted to spend an hour and a half of my life. Learning the ins and outs of sex from a man who's never had it. Pun totally intended," I said, waving bye to Rose as she headed into to one building to get to her class.

"Haha, yeah, unfortunately forty year old virgins aren't actually funny," Emmett replied as we walked into our building. Edward dropped his arm from my shoulders and announced we were at his classroom, Emmett and I said our goodbyes as he disappeared into what appeared to be an art class.

"Ours is at the end of the hall," Emmett said, pointing.

"By the way, I've never been to this class before. I used to be in art with Edward, but uh... Well, it's sort of a long story, I'll tell you later. Lets just say that the teacher hates me now," Emmett explained vaguely, rubbing the back of his neck. I rolled my eyes as my head filled with all the possible ways Emmett could get an art teacher to hate him.

"I'll hold you to that," I replied as Emmett opened the door for me. And sitting on the teachers desk was something that surprised us both.


	9. Emmett Likes To Sculpt His Feelings

**Ab~ I hope you liked that last chapter. Em and I actually wrote it twice, and the second time around was a hell-of-a-lot better.  
>I didn't actually mind though, cause it was fun to write. You guys are awesome. Now go read about health class. <strong>

**Em~ I don't think I'd mind getting the talk from Jasper... ;)  
><strong>

**Bella**

Perched casually on the edge of the front desk was a man. Not old, or balding as we expected him to be, and by no means a virgin considering the picture of him and a beautiful black haired woman posing with small baby girl sitting on each of their legs.

He had a head full of messy golden-blonde hair and evenly tanned skin. He had an easy smile on his face as he chatted to some students and the corners of his eyes crinkled up charmingly. I noticed a twinge of a Texas accent in his honey-like voice. Even leaning back on the desk, I could tell he was over six foot, and he had an obviously sturdy build. I would be lying if I said I didn't think he was gorgeous.

"Is that our _teacher_?" I asked, leaning up to whisper in Emmett's ear.

"I... Yeah, I guess so," he replied, just about as stunned as I was.

"So, I, um take back every word I said outside of the class room..." I mumbled.

"Are you guys our new students?" he asked, turning towards us as the other students walked away from him and to their desks.

"Um, yeah, guess so," I said, handing him my scheduled. Emmett handed over his transfer slip and he nodded, scribbling his signature onto them.

"Hey, aren't you the kid that repeatedly traumatized Mrs. Blake in art class?" he asked Emmett, and Emmett coughed awkwardly.

"Uh, yeah, that would be me," Emmett admitted, and I tried to not laugh.

"Just between us, I'd be lying if I said that wasn't totally impressive," he said, leaning towards us, and Emmett snickered.

"Thanks man," he said.

"No problem. Anyway, let me just brief you guys. I realize this class could be completely awkward, and everyone is essentially taking it so they can graduate. Anyway, this semester I'm going to attempt to make it as un-awkward as I possibly can. Starting with the fact that you guys can all call me Jasper when we're just in the classroom. Talking about STD's is embarrassing enough without you guys all calling me Mr. Whitlock... And I'm not old enough to be called by my last name, anyway. I'm only 25,"

"That explains a whole bunch Jasper, and Emmett if you don't tell me that story right now, so help me God-"

"Okay, okay, Jeeze. Don't tear my dick off," Emmett agreed, and Jasper laughed saying something about how he would have a replacement if I did.

"Guys!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, okay,"

**3rd Person Flashback  
><strong>

"Okay class, I want you to sketch or paint a portrait of someone very important in your life," Ms. Blake, the art teacher informed her third block class eagerly. Despite her enthusiasm, everyone groaned, but walked to their easels to began the assignment.

Edward had decided to paint a portrait of his late Grandmother Helena, whom he had been very close with up until her passing about two years ago. It was an immensely beautiful portrait with great sentiment that he later hung in his room.

Emmett had taken a more vulgar direction on the assignment.

"If that's accurate, then I now understand what Rose sees in you you," Edward whispered to Emmett whilst being blinded by Em's nude portrait of himself. Emmett had, to say the least, made his more manly assets inaccurately larger and disproportionate to the rest of his body.

"Emmett McCarty!" Ms. Blake exclaimed in a shrill voice before fainting on spot. This was no shock to the rest of the class, as Ms. Blake frequently fell unconscious and they attempted to rouse her with smelling salts.

"Whoa... I guess I DO have an enviable body..." Emmett said proudly admiring his work, oblivious to the comatose teacher just behind him.

**About a month later: **

"Okay class! It's the day we've all been waiting for!" Ms. Blake began before a student interjected.

"The day this class ends?" they questioned with a sarcastic, albeit hopeful tone.

"No, it's sculpting day! And now I want you to sculpt something very close to your heart. Remember, these are the sculptures that we will put out for Fine Arts night! So work hard on your master pieces, my dearests!" The semi-insane art teacher droned on as the high school all grabbed their large portions of clay and sat down in their tables. Edward and Emmett happily sat down at their two person table and began to sculpt.

"Also remember children, if you plan on making a vase you are more than welcome to use the pottery wheel to make your sculptures easier to make."

Suddenly a light-bulb flickered over Emmett's head, he knew what he would sculpt...

Emmett rushed over to the pottery wheel right beside his table and began to make his master piece.

Several minutes later: "E-E-Emmett, is that a giant dick?" Edward asked incredulously, taking his hands off the guitar he had been sculpting.

"Get your mind out the gutter Eddie! It seconds as a vase." Emmett informed him as he rounded off some of the "vases" assets.

"You can put flowers in that damn thing?" Edward questioned with a raised eyebrow, now slightly amused at Emmett's crude work.

"Yup, it's beautiful ain't it? I think I'll give it to your parents for Christmas." Emmett informed him as he continued his work.

"Make that vase as accurate as you can," Edward commanded eagerly.

"Right on it, Sarge," Emmett replied speeding up the pottery wheel to full blast.

**~Bella~**

"And that's how Emmett got two weeks suspension, three Saturday schools, and is now banned from attending any art classes in the district," Jasper finished.

I began to clap for Emmett, "Are you going to give the vase to Edward's parents?"

"Oh don't worry, I have already wrapped it up and everything for them." Emmett told me grinning eagerly at the thought of Edward's family displaying a giant dick on their front porch.

"Are his parents like complete assholes or something?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, like the ultimate assholes. All they ever do is crush his dreams and compare him to his older brother James. Who is currently attending medical school up in New York," Emmett informed me shaking his head in disgust as he uttered the name James as if it were a curse.

"As interesting as our conversation may be, I have to explain safe sex to a bunch of immature high-schoolers. The district told me not to even bother with the abstinence talk. Just tell them how to prevent over-populating the earth with stupid people," Jasper said, a hint of humor in his voice.

"Okay class, so I hate to start out class like this but... What do you think about abstinence?" Jasper asked as he leaned back onto his desk.

"It's unnecessary!" the beef-heads- AKA the football jocks- in the back cheered. How cliche...

"It's a word that I've never heard before..." Victoria chimed, and Jasper face-palmed.

"It's about waiting till marriage to do the deed," Emmett said in a bored tone, saving Jasper from further aggravation, as his own head slumped into the palm of his hand.

"Thank you Emmett, we wait. And..." Jasper led off into a very uncomfortable conversation about safe sex and all the ways to avoid temptation... Essentially there was only one way for each gender. Go to an all boy/ all girl school.

When the bell rang Emmett and I sighed in relief. As the rest of the class filed out of the room, the two of us walked up to Jasper's desk.

"No offense to you, Jasper, but I fucking hate this class," I said bluntly, much to my relief he just laughed.

"Yeah, the school was short-staffed and Ali, my wife, and I, needed a little extra cash since the baby came... Well that, and Ali has a bit of a shopping obsession. Not to mention the facts that she's allergic to off-brands and the discount rack. I'm the gym coach too," he explained to us.

"Well... I'm glad it's you teaching the class and not some perv or forty year old virgin,"

"Thanks..." Jasper replied, awkwardly rocking back on his heels.

**~Later~**

So, despite having both Rose and Emmett in U.S. History, it was proving already to be a class I would hate. It was taught by this sour-faced, pointy-nosed, overly-opinionated woman that had something of a stick up her ass with how particular she was. To make matters worse, the three of us were separated to complete opposite corners of the room, putting finger-guns to our heads as we fantasized dying and not having to listen to Ms. Manson- which is quite a fitting last name- drone on for the remainder of the period.

Just as I was certain I would pop this bitch in the ass with a non-imaginary pistol, the bell rang, and I didn't even bother to hold in my halleluiah.

"Thank sweet baby Jesus!" I cried out, tossing my bag over my shoulder and running three quick strides out of the deepest pit of hell in Forks High.

I waited just outside the classroom for Emmett and Rose, who, I'm assuming, were chuckling due to my outburst and hasty escape. Rose grabbed my arm and I leaned into her, thankful for the friends who had gotten me through a day which otherwise would've just sucked.

"Isn't she sweet?" Rose said, as we walked down the hall.

"Oh just lovely... I wanna go have tea and fuckin' biscuits with her." I muttered in reply, thankful I had packed some advil in my bag this morning.

"On the bright side... I spy Edward Cullen to the east." Rose whispered in my ear before pointing him out amongst the vast sea of insanity surrounding us.

"How will we get to him?" I asked as a giant football player slammed into me effectively knocking me into Emmett's arms.

"Holy Shit! Robert Pattinson!" Emmett exclaimed. Gullible, Rob-obsessed girls stopped mid-stride in the hall way and looked around expectantly, we took this as and opportunity to run through the paused mass of stupidly, and towards our flocked friend.

"Impressive," Edward asked approvingly as we neared him.

"Don't thank me, thank Rob and his patented sex-hair," Emmett responded, patting Edward on the back, as the crowd began moving again.

"I plan on it," Edward said, sans joking, and offered me an adorable lopsided smile.

"So, what are we doing now?" I asked, leaning towards Edward a bit, causing my shoulder to brush his side, he flashed me another smile and grasped my hand in his.

"Obviously, getting the fuck outta this hellhole... Then maybe go paint your bedroom?" Rose suggested shrugging.

"Oooo, what color?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"Black and silver," Me and Rose replied instantly.

"Cool beans, so we'll paint, go eat, then maybe do some homework?" Em told us.

"Yeah... But, I gotta check with my folks first. You know, make sure my mum doesn't blow a gasket when I don't get home the second she wants me to," Edward told us, then pulled out his iphone to send a text to who I assume is his mom. It rang out precisely nine and a half seconds after he send it.

"She said eight at the latest," he sighed. Jesus, that's a tight leash... I squeezed his hand apologetically.

"That's still enough time to do stuff," I replied glancing down at my watch, it was only 3:34.

"Alright, lets do it then," Rose said, and we headed for the doors.

**~B's house~**

"Emmett, just put a sheet over it! My bed weighs a ton, there's no way you'd move it... None the less, get it to fit out of the door fully assembled.**"**

"Bella stop emasculating me!" Emmett whined girlishy, huffing as he pushed at my bed.

"Oh my God," I said, tilting my head to the side staring at him. Everyone stopped and looked at me.

"What?" they questioned in unison.

"I can't believe you just used a word with more than six letters properly, I'm so proud!" I told him**, **grinning. I then started to move my bookshelf into the hall, and Edward quickly jumped in to help.

Soon enough everything in my room had been moved into the hallway or covered with a tarp and we all threw on some old clothes before beginning to paint my room.

"This wall is as black as Ms. Manson's sole," Emmett commented, taking a step back to look at the darkly painted wall.

I snorted, "That's hilarious... and horrifyingly true,"

Rose giggled and I turned around to glance at her she was dancing around whilst painting a silver wall,"I think... that by the time we're done painting... we will all be high of the fumes,"

"I think you might be already... Wait! Fuck... Where will I sleep tonight?" I asked turning away from the wet wall to stare at my friends.

Rose shrugged, "You can stay with me."

"Co-ca-co-ca-co-co cool beans, thanks Rosie," I said with a purposeful stutter and a grin.

"No problamo, Swan." Rose replied. Ah, Rose and her failed attempts at speaking spanish.

Satisfied, I turned back to painting. I wonder where my ipod dock is...

**Sorry people, we know it's been a while. Sorry. Swear to God it won't be so long this time :) Review please.**


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